Caroline is a 38-year-old woman. She and her 40-year-old husband, Sam, had experienced a challenging year.
A Challenging Time
Sam had recently undergone extensive surgery. Caroline managed a full-time job and was responsible for tending to their 6-year-old and 2-year-old children, all while assisting Sam in his recovery.
A Helping Hand
Caroline’s parents would assist with watching the kids from time to time. They were old, so she would only ask them to watch the kids once a week for 2 hours or less.
Once-in-a-Lifetime Opportunity
Caroline’s cousin sent out wedding invitations. The wedding was set to occur on the other side of the world. It was scheduled for the following year and promised to be a once-in-a-lifetime trip.
A Treat For Self
Caroline and her husband decided to treat themselves and go.
She informed her parents about their plans, and initially, they seemed pleased for them. However, it wasn’t so.
Worried Mother
Caroline’s mother had been upset for days about their decision to leave the kids and travel so far away.
They expressed their concerns and said they were not up to caring for the kids.
Reassurance
Caroline told them they had other relatives lined up to watch the kids and had never intended to burden them.
Persistent Concerns
Despite this, the grandparents still felt responsible for the children while their parents were gone and worried that if anything happened, they’d be too far away. They urged Caroline and Sam to reconsider their decision to attend the wedding.
Differing Views
Caroline’s sister-in-law was willing to care for the kids, as she had children the same age, and they got along well.
However, Caroline’s parents believed the kids wouldn’t be happy there and that, ultimately, they’d end up looking after them.
Unforeseen Outcomes
Apparently, her mother had a panic attack due to their decision to attend the wedding and leave the kids.
Clearing the Air
Caroline responded by saying she had understood her mother’s anxiety surrounding the issue but clarified that it was her mother’s problem to address, not hers to fix. She also stressed that canceling the trip wouldn’t relieve her mother’s anxiety.
Updating Mom
Caroline updated her mother on their plan to settle the kids at their sister-in-law’s place. They also found two alternative caregivers.
Family Disagreement
Her parents disagreed with her plans. They even convinced her siblings and aunt to oppose the trip.
Caroline’s Decision Wavers
This made Caroline reconsider her decision, as she didn’t want to face judgment from her family members during the journey.
Seeking Guidance
She felt disrespected and wondered if she was wrong for even considering attending the wedding, so she turned to an online forum to seek advice.
Balancing Family Time and Self-Care
One user suggests that going on a vacation is fine as long as her kids are being looked after. They also mention that spending time with family is important, but having some time for yourself is also okay.
Insights from a Summer Camp Worker
Another user offers advice for parents with kids who haven’t been away from both parents for a while. They suggest preparing them by having them stay over at a friend’s house, or something similar before the big trip is advised.
Based on their experience working at a summer camp, they found that kids who had never been away from a parent had a harder time. However, they believe this could be a positive experience for kids, helping them learn a bit of age-appropriate independence.
Some Encouragement
A user pointed out that Caroline’s children are old enough to stay with a family member for a week. It’s not as if she leaves them all the time, and it’s for a special occasion like a wedding. “You could have just as easily taken a week’s vacation with your husband, and it would have been perfectly okay,” the user adds.
Trust Your Intuition
Another user said that parents are the best judges to determine if their kids are ready for this. They ended by advising them to trust their judgment.
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Susan is the founder of Susan's Socials, a social media agency focused on Flipboard. She is also a content curator, encouraging a healthy lifestyle through topics such as pets, food, travel, home decor, gardening, and fashion.
