Men may hide the advice they really want to give to women for fear of being canceled. On a recent online forum, anonymity allowed this fear to be removed. Here are the top 18 blunt truths that men would love to share with women.
1. Men Aren’t Afraid of Commitment
“Men aren’t afraid of commitment. Those men just don’t want to commit to you,” says one male member of the forum. He goes on to explain that if a man isn’t going all in, he just doesn’t like you enough for anything serious.
2. Speak Plainly
“If you want something, ask for exactly that thing. Don’t hint around it. Don’t suggest it. Ask for it, outright. You still may not get it, but at least you know you were understood,” says another user.
He was backed by other commenters, with one saying that if someone is a grown woman, they should be capable of communicating their needs and wants directly to a man.
3. Don’t Play Mind Games
One user pleads for women not to play “stupid mind games”. He argues that they aren’t compatible with healthy relationships and encourages women to grow up and act right. It’s the only way to achieve happiness in the long run, he says.
4. Stop Using Filters
Another commenter explains that men are not stupid, “We know that’s a filter. You don’t look like that in person. Stop it.”
5. Don’t Play the Quiet Game
One man in the forum begs women not to give them the silent treatment when there is a problem. Just explicitly say what the problem is. “Don’t nobody wanna play Blue’s Clues because you upset about something,” he says.
6. Be Blunt
Another user would love for women to know that men are not mind readers. He says, “Not a single person can read your thoughts, so stop expecting it and be blunt!”
7. Don’t Overshare Personal Info in Group Chats
Another male member of the forum asks that if women are members of a group chat with their female friends and talk about their significant other in a lot of detail, he pleads for them to dial the level of detail WAY back.
He explains, “Yes, it is entirely normal to talk to your friends about your relationship. No, it isn’t cool to be describing his naked anatomy, recounting sensitive private conversations, asking for advice on how to manipulate him, or divulging his intimate personal secrets to your friends. It’s a violation of the trust he’s placing in you by being intimate.”
8. Don’t Expect Perfection
“Whatever requirements you have for your perfect man, make sure that YOU would meet HIS requirements for the perfect woman too!” says another male member of the group.
9. Speak Up!
One man just wants women to speak up if something is wrong! He says, “If we behave in a way that bothers you, tell us right away, rather than wait months and then mention it during the break up conversation. Like I am a flawed human being, I am constantly trying to learn and grow, and had I known this was an issue immediately, I could have taken the steps to correct that behavior, and work on it with my therapist.”
10. Trendy Doesn’t Equal Attractive
Another group member stresses that just because something is trending, it doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. He gives an example, “Long fake eyelashes and lip injections might be popular, but they look terrible.” Many other commenters supported him.
11. Value Our Opinions
“Stop pretending like you want our opinion if you already made a decision or have an answer in mind,” pleads one user. “It’s a horrible game, and everyone loses when you get angry that our opinion wasn’t magically identical to your own.”
12. Sort Your Own Life Out
Another member of the forum offers women the same advice he would give to men, and that is to sort your own life out. He adds, “No one cares; no one is coming to save you; it’s up to you to fix your life.”
13. Stop Getting Black Out Drunk
One man simply states, “Going out and getting black-out drunk is dangerous, full stop.” Other users backed this comment, with another adding, “Leaving your drink unattended in a club, late at night, also dangerous.”
14. Be Interested in Others
“Learn to be curious about other people’s perspectives and experiences,” another user suggests. “Only being around people like you makes you very one dimensional, like the very people around you.”
15. Men Are Not Broken!
Amusingly, one man in the forum stresses that “men are not broken!”. He argues that they just don’t think about things the same way women do, and that’s ok!
16. You’re Not As Hot as You Think You Are
“You aren’t nearly as hot as you think you are,” another member of the group says. He goes on to explain, “Internet thirst looking at altered images is not an accurate measure of your attractiveness. That’s like a chef asking for his cooking to be rated by a group of emaciated starving people.”
17. Stop Blaming Men
Another user says that he would love for women to stop blaming men for all the toxic and abusive relationships they might have been in previously, and suggests that they start looking at the men they choose to let into their lives in the first place!
18. Marrying a Man Won’t Change Him
“Just because you marry a man, doesn’t mean he is going to change. If he was trash beforehand, he’ll be trash after too,” warns another male user.
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