Sometimes, you cannot help but overhear other peoples’ conversations, and some of the things said will make you double-take. We trawled the internet for some of the most messed up things people have ever overheard.
That’s Harsh
“I heard my dad telling my first cousin that my life was entirely pointless – because my sibling had already done everything that my dad would have expected, so there was no point in me.”
Cutting Room Floor
A man reported that his young daughter showed a friend a scar on her leg. The young boy showed a scar on his arm and said:
“I got cut with a knife. I cannot see my mum anymore because of it.”
Too Heavy For A Workday
A man was a hotel manager in the 90s before telephones in the rooms were a thing. One day, a young guest used the office phone.
He reported that the woman called her mother to tell her that she had found out that her boyfriend had been cheating on her… and tested positive for AIDS.
What Did He Do?!
Overheard in a mall in a conversation between a couple:
Woman: “What you did was worse than mass murder.”
Er What?
A server at a restaurant was serving a table of ‘mature’ ladies when one of the guests said to the other:
“…So I decided to go with an assplay theme”.
I Don’t Think That Is Any Better
Overheard in the courtroom about a thirteen-year-old girl (allegedly):
“Your honor, I wasn’t trying to kill her; I was just [EXPLETIVE] her”
Huh?
Overheard in a bar:
“The snake blood didn’t taste bad; it just tasted like human blood”
I Don’t Think It Is PG
Overheard at Disneyland from one Disney character to Cruella:
“Cruella, you’re a [EXPLETIVE] bitch”
Gag
Overheard from some girls in college:
“I heard he has a huge [APPENDAGE], but it smells a bit cheesy”
Where Do You Find These People?
Some guy went to pay his cell phone bill and overheard the store manager bragging that his pit bull may have lost a leg, but it killed the other dog.
The guy left, called customer service, and got the guy fired.
Didn’t Realize That Was A Reason
Overheard at a gas station:
“You’re getting an abortion, end of story! We can’t have a baby; I drive a Ford Taurus!”
Sounds Like A Swell Guy
One guy writes about his parents’ pastor being a used car salesman. He would sell used cars to people with low incomes and bad credit on an ‘as-is’ basis, and when those cars would invariably break down, they would take them back at a small fraction of the purchase price, fix them up so that they were usable and re-sell the car back to unsuspecting buyers. They bragged about selling the same car ten times, and would still show up to church acting holier than thou every Sunday.
Recycling, I Guess?
“I don’t clean up cat puke; I just let my dog eat it.”
Yeah, Josh
A couple were arguing in the next car over, and the poster reports he heard:
“Jeez, Josh, I’m not saying don’t stick it in; I’m just saying give me a heads up!”
Don’t Worry You’re Still A Sleazebag
Overheard in a bar:
“Try as I might, I still haven’t managed to cheat on my girlfriend this week.”
If You Had To Ask…
Also overheard in a bar:
“Do you think I should shower? I did the scratch and sniff, and it could go either way”.
Just Drop Me Off At My Therapist, Please
A poster went straight to therapy after spending 6 hours in a car with his mother, aunt, and grandmother talking about their love lives – he/she was 12 at the time.
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