A woman has two daughters named Emma and Abby, aged 12 and 14 respectively.
Pocket Money
She gives both girls 10 dollars a week for them to use as they please.
The Benefits of Saving
Abby has learned to save up the money to purchase nicer things. For example, she recently got herself a lamp that throws stars on the ceiling.
Cheap Does Not Mean Better
On the other hand, Emma does not save. She prefers to spend her money on cheap things that break after a bit.
Mom Explains
She explained to her younger daughter that cheap things do not last long. However, her daughter just wasn’t getting it, so her mom is letting her learn by experience.
Jealousy
Emma has now seen the lamp and got upset that she did not have one. This turned into her being upset that her sister had nicer stuff.
A Lesson from Mom
The mom sat her younger daughter down and explained to her that Abby could buy nice things as she saved her money.
Please?
Emma then asked if her mom could buy her the lamp.
The Refusal
Mom refused and said she would need to save up for it.
Dad Gets Involved
Emma has been pouting since the episode took place, which led to her dad getting involved.
A Disagreement in Parenting
The woman explained what happened to her partner, and he, too, got upset. The parents ended up in a huge argument, with the dad saying mom was a jerk for speaking to their daughter that way and not buying her the lamp.
Mom Seeks Advice
Mom reached out to an online forum to gather opinions on handling the situation.
Piggy Banks
She explains that they have tried piggy banks and writing down Emma’s money in the past; however, it doesn’t work.
No Force Saving
She also refuses to hold on to any of the money herself since that is her forcing her daughter to save rather than teaching her to save and not impulse buy.
Ideas Welcome!
The mom welcomed any ideas, which led to a flurry of suggestions and opinions in the comments. Here’s what was said.
Parenting
One user said that all the mom is doing is parenting and doing a good job of it! They explained that both kids got the same amount of money and, therefore, the same chances. Emma did not listen and had to experience the consequences.
Many agreed with this view, with the comment receiving over 6,000 upvotes.
A Relatable Situation
One commenter said she was raised this way and is probably better off as an adult because of it. She explains that she was not the saver among the siblings. However, she eventually learned her lesson. She said, “Eventually, you see something you want bad enough to save for, and then it all kind of clicked for me.”
A Dangerous Precedent
“What message does it send to kids?” asks another user. “The saver sees the spender getting what she had to spend time to save for anyway, AS WELL as all the tat and rubbish the spender purchased. The spender gets to see that, even if you just spend all your money if you whinge/moan/pout enough, someone else will pick up the tab. That’s a dangerous precedent to set.”
Differences
Another user disagreed, “They are different ages and different personalities. “Emma might need different support in learning how to save. Just handing the money to a younger child, or a child with impulse control issues, is not going to get the same result as with her sister.”
Another commenter agreed with this and suggested they all sit and problem-solve together.
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