Molly is a mother to four children: two boys aged 12 and 9, a 6-year-old girl, and a 17-year-old stepson named Mat, who became part of their family during high school.
Religious Choices
Molly identifies as Jewish, while her husband Joe was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness but is now agnostic. Mat is also agnostic. They are raising her three children in the Jewish faith.
Sibling Differences
Joe and his sisters have a complex relationship with religion. They were raised as Jehovah’s Witnesses until Joe was 11.
Traditional to Nondenominational
After his mother passed away, Joe’s father left the church, and they started attending a nondenominational Christian church.
His Extended Family
One of Joe’s younger sisters has a 15-year-old daughter named Kayla.
Passion for Equality
Kayla is a remarkable individual, passionate about social justice issues, and aspires to become a civil rights attorney.
Championing Diversity
She actively educates others on various topics, including race (as Joe and his family are black) and sexuality. Kayla herself identifies as pansexual.
Religion Sparks Disapproval
Religion has become a contentious subject between some of the family members. Kayla has disapproved of Molly raising the younger children with religion and continuing to celebrate religious holidays with her cousin Mat, who is not Jewish.
Embracing Diversity
Mat is indifferent to religion and enjoys participating in their celebrations. In addition to Jewish traditions, they celebrate Christian holidays like Christmas, which Joe and Mat particularly enjoy.
Confronting Differences
After Molly sent out invitations to her son’s bar mitzvah, Kayla made a social media post criticizing religion as a form of brainwashing and expressing her anticipation for its eradication.
Controversy Escalates
Molly confronted Kayla about this, prompting Kayla to make another post about religious people attempting to silence others and her determination to never remain silent in the face of oppression.
Religious Disagreement
Feeling disrespected by Kayla’s views on religion, Molly privately discussed her concerns with Joe and their closest friends. However, Joe is upset that she is considering excluding Kayla from the religious celebration.
Exclusion or Inclusion?
Molly is now contemplating whether she should address the issue directly with Kayla or if doing so would be inappropriate.
Lack of Respect for Religion
She believes Kayla should not attend a religious ceremony because she does not respect religion.
She has not yet spoken to Kayla about her decision. She got lots of comments after she posted on one online forum.
Respecting Differences
A commenter pointed out that the issue was not solely about religion but mutual respect. They stressed that everyone has the right to their beliefs. Still, respecting one another, regardless of those beliefs, is essential. The commenter noted that while Molly respects her lack of religious beliefs, Kayla does not reciprocate by respecting her religious stance. They advised conversing with Kayla about respecting each other despite differing beliefs.
Regarding the celebration, it was suggested to convey that she is welcome to attend as long as she can be respectful. However, if she is uncomfortable attending, she should decline the invitation.
Religion and Culture
Another user added that Kayla’s perspective lacked consideration, and her comments bordered on anti-semitism. They explained that the concept of “eradicating” religion has different implications for Jews than it does for Christians, especially considering that Judaism is an ethnoreligion where culture and religion are closely intertwined. The user emphasized that trying to “eradicate” one aspect would destroy the other.
Maturity and Respect
A commenter mentioned that they are atheist but emphasized their respect for the opinions of others. They expressed concern that Kayla has yet to learn to be mature and respectful towards people with different beliefs. The commenter believed that Kayla’s outspokenness about her views might lead to a hostile atmosphere at the event or make other guests uncomfortable.
A Different Perspective
One person offered a different perspective, explaining that many Jews they know are atheists and that bar mitzvahs can be more about welcoming young adults into the community rather than blindly following faith. They described how the event often includes an opportunity for the young person to speak about what they’ve learned and what it means to them, focusing on family, community, and typical teenage experiences rather than religious epiphanies.
The commenter also acknowledged the typical behavior of 15-year-olds, suggesting that Kayla’s attitude might result from her wanting to test boundaries and grow independent. They advised conversing with her and not disinviting her from the event because she acted like a typical 15-year-old.
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Susan is the founder of Susan's Socials, a social media agency focused on Flipboard. She is also a content curator, encouraging a healthy lifestyle through topics such as pets, food, travel, home decor, gardening, and fashion.
