Sharon, a 26-year-old female, and her sister Sophie were raised in a liberal household where they could wear whatever they liked, even at home.
The Fiancé
Sharon’s fiancé, Dan, is 30 years old.
Fashion Choices
Sophie had always preferred skimpy outfits, which Sharon didn’t mind since it was the norm at home.
The Big Day
Sharon’s wedding is scheduled for February 2024.
Inappropriate Outfit
Sophie is one of her bridesmaids. She showed Sharon her chosen outfit, but she was unhappy.
The dress, with a deep slit up to her waist and minimal coverage on her back and chest, indicated she was not wearing undergarments.
Concerns About Attire
Sharon is uncomfortable with her sister appearing in such clothing, especially in the presence of her fiancé and his family.
Parental Perspectives
Their parents see nothing wrong with Sophie’s outfit, even after Sharon expressed concern.
Standing Her Ground
Sharon told Sophie that if she didn’t opt for a more modest dress, she wouldn’t be a bridesmaid and wouldn’t be welcome at her wedding.
Fashion Freedom Debate
Sophie thinks Sharon is being unfair. She said she couldn’t control what people wore since she allowed the bridesmaids to choose their designs as long as they followed the color scheme.
Her Concern
Sophie argues that her choice matches the color scheme, but Sharon finds the design inappropriate. “I don’t want my sister to flash my guests inadvertently.”
Uninvited
Since Sophie refused to change her dress, Sharon uninvited her to the wedding, leaving Sophie very upset.
The Cold Shoulder
Now, both Sophie and their parents aren’t speaking to her.
Supportive Partner
Sharon’s fiancé doesn’t have a strong opinion and will support her decision.
Seeking Advice
She posted on one online forum asking if she was in the wrong for asking her sister to change her dress and wear appropriate attire or not attend the wedding.
She received many responses, some of which are here.
Taking Control
One commenter advises that if she really wants her sister to come to her wedding, she should firmly assert that she must not dress as though she’s attending an MTV music awards show, or she will not be included in the wedding party. As the bride, Sharon has the authority to determine the attire of both their bridal party and, to some extent, even the guests.
Staying Committed
Another commenter says even if the parents are not communicating with her or attending the wedding, the marriage can proceed as planned!
The Considerate Choice
One user said that complying with a dress code for just one day, especially on one of the most significant days in your sibling’s life, is not a challenging request. Choosing to adhere to it is a thoughtful and considerate gesture.
Compliance with Wedding Requirements
Another user recounted his experience: “I once attended a wedding where they required all the men to wear a kurta garment. I did not know what it was, but a quick online search provided the needed information. Interestingly, there were no objections or complaints regarding this dress code request.”
The Role of Bridesmaids
A user responded, saying it’s not a big deal to oblige the bride’s request. They add that dress codes are standard in various aspects of life, and the host of an event has the authority to establish a dress code. The user asked, “Does she not understand that people have jobs and responsibilities? The bridesmaid is expected to wear the dress chosen by the bride.”
Wedding Wardrobe Woes
A former bride shared her story of promising to cover the cost of any bridesmaid dress as long as it fell within the ‘cranberry-burgundy’ color range and wasn’t too revealing. One of the bridesmaids chose a sheer corset and tutu bottom in hot pink, which was not within the red color family.
The bride told her she couldn’t wear it and wouldn’t pay for it. The bridesmaid was angry and ultimately removed from the wedding. The bride believes it’s not too much to ask to tone it down for just one day to fit the wedding theme.
Fashion Faux Pas
Another user commented that the sister’s dress appears inappropriate, or at the very least, it clashes stylistically with the occasion, particularly for someone in the bridal party. The user believes Sharon is not acting unreasonably here, but the sister and parents may be.
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Susan is the founder of Susan's Socials, a social media agency focused on Flipboard. She is also a content curator, encouraging a healthy lifestyle through topics such as pets, food, travel, home decor, gardening, and fashion.
