Life has a way of surprising us with its unique challenges and experiences. Some of these experiences can only be comprehended when you’ve walked in those shoes. Whether you’re here to relate, empathize, or simply satisfy your curiosity, here are 15 real-life situations that truly reveal their complexity only when you’re living them, as shared by users of an online forum.
Being Homeless
One forum member says, “People really don’t understand the feeling of having no place to go home to. It is an incredibly unsettling feeling when you have nothing and nowhere to go.”
Mental Illness
Another forum member believes that having someone close to you with a severe mental illness cannot truly be understood by someone who has not been through it personally. “It’s been really great seeing public opinion sway more to support and openness about mental illness, but you can really tell when someone hasn’t been around a severe psychiatric crisis,” they state. “Mental health crises are not dramatic beautiful one-time moments where the person finally admits to getting help. It’s an ugly, long, cyclical grind that wears you down until you’re just completely numb and exhausted. It’s horrible, scary, and makes you feel trapped and powerless. It destroys relationships, families, financial security, and sometimes physically harms people.”
Abusive Relationships
One user cites being in an emotionally and financially abusive marriage or other relationship as something one cannot understand until they are in it. She says, “If anyone else whom I cared about were going through what I went through throughout my marriage, I would’ve told them to run. I didn’t realize how messed up my situation was until I finally broke free of it.”
Financial Freedom
On a more positive note, another user mentions financial freedom as something that cannot be understood until it is experienced. They add how truly liberating it feels.
Another user agreed and shared their personal experience, “The psychological difference between making $20/h and scraping by working five or six 12-hour shifts a week, and finally cracking $45 an hour with benefits and being able to coast comfortably at 30 hours a week was mind-blowing. It took me about a year to really notice that I was different, more capable, confident, happy, and focused. Everything got easier; shame and self-doubt dropped away.”
Anxiety
“One that speaks to me is anxiety,” shares one user. “The word gets used a lot, and feeling anxious is something that all people experience on a normative level. That normative anxiety that “healthy” people experience is way too easily and often conflated with anxiety on a mental illness level. It’s apples and oranges and absolutely awful.”
Death and Grief
“Everyone reacts differently. It feels like being underwater, and no one can tell,” explains one forum member. Another user concurred and said, “I thought I understood it till I had to watch it happen to people I love.”
Chronic Pain
One user sums it up beautifully: “It’s because most people think it’s just that something hurts, but it’s so much more than that.
It’s the grief over the life you wanted to/thought you would live that you no longer can because of pain.
It’s the anxiety that comes from all the things you miss out on and what you’re going to be able to do tomorrow.
It’s the sleeplessness because you can’t ever get comfy enough to sleep, and pain is exhausting, anyway.
It’s the desperation just to find some relief.”
Tinnitus
Tinnitus is a medical condition that causes a constant ringing sound in the ear without a source of external noise. A member of the forum suffers from this and says, “People don’t understand when you explain to them it’s quieter when the TV is on or music if playing than if it’s dead quiet.”
Cutting Ties With a Family Member
A tough situation that is hard to understand is choosing to cut ties with a family member, especially one that is close such as a parent or sibling. Many forum users agreed with this and often struggle with the advice they receive from others who are not in the same situation: “Their advice to reconnect comes from them thinking that they can’t imagine not talking to their parent or sibling ever again, but their parent or sibling is not like ours. Believe me, we wish they were.”
Depression
As one user explains it, “For me, it is like a painful fog that you can’t see your way out of, and nobody can help you out of it except yourself.” Many agreed, saying that the term “I’m depressed” is thrown around way too casually. Those truly suffering from depression know that it’s so much more than just feeling a little sad and can take years to recover from.
Insomnia
Insomnia is a condition that causes sufferers difficulty in falling and/or staying asleep. One user shares, “I’ve been diagnosed officially, and it’s not the same as a poor night of sleep or being generally tired. Multiple days of barely any sleep really messes you up mentally and physically. One poor night is fine… when I’m on day three of terrible sleep, my mental and physical health takes a swan dive.”
Addiction
Addictions of all kinds can have huge effects on both the addicted and their loved ones who want to help. Many forum users shared their addictions and, in turn, helped encourage those who are still in recovery.
Being Burgled
One commenter cites the feeling of being burgled as one that’s hard to understand, especially when sentimental, irreplaceable items are taken. Unfortunately, this is becoming more common in this day and age. Many users in the forum shared their experiences: “Our house was burglarized, and they stole all my mom’s jewelry, some of which we’ve had for generations, and my parents’ safe, which contained watches they’ve had for decades and all of their documents. Passports, green cards, birth certificates… everything. It was in March, and we still haven’t recovered from the damage this has done.”
Cancer
“I don’t want people to “admire” me. I’m not strong or brave or a fighter,” shares one user who is suffering from the illness. “I’m just literally trying to cling to my life.”
Other users also added that you can never truly recover after being diagnosed, even if in remission, as the fear of the illness returning never truly goes away.
Becoming a Parent
Becoming a parent is one of those life-changing experiences you can never truly be prepared for, despite thinking you are. Priorities suddenly shift, schedules change, overwhelm flows, and stress mounts, juxtaposed with love for a tiny being that is completely reliant on you. Welcoming a new life is indeed a blessing, but the total emotional chaos that comes with it can never be understood without actually going through it.
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