A very wealthy husband and wife have four children.
The College Rule
They have a college rule they plan to apply to all their kids. The rule is: get your degree in four years.
If the child gets their degree in four years, the parents will agree to pay for it. If the child graduates earlier, they will give that child extra money for their own use.
It Applies to All Kids
The husband explains that his oldest child graduated in four years and has no debt. His second child graduated early by taking summer classes and was given money. He is now using this for a down payment on a home.
The Only Exception
The husband also explains that they have agreed to pay for five-year programs; however, if the child leaves that program for a normal one, the rule goes back to four.
Bella
Their third child, Bella, has changed major twice already and is currently a junior.
Her Predicament
She recently told her parents that she is changing her major again.
Dad reminded her that he and her mom are only paying for four years.
The Argument
This caused a big argument, and Bella could not understand why her parents refused to pay for her college tuition even though they have the cash.
Dad’s Side
The dad argued that he had previously explained all the conditions to her and applied them to the older kids. He did not plan on changing the rules now.
Unsupportive Parent?
At the end of the argument, Bella called her dad an unsupportive parent. She said he is forcing her into debt to pursue her passion and has stopped talking to her dad.
Was He Wrong?
Was the dad wrong? He turned to an online forum to ask what he should do and received hundreds of responses.
Understandable
“I understand the reasoning. It’s to ensure that they remain motivated to study for their course and not to ‘flip flop’ around,” agrees one user. “If she has already switched courses a couple of times, I’d argue she doesn’t know what her passion is.”
Confusing Opportunity with Limitless Choices
“You’re providing a great opportunity for your children, but that opportunity shouldn’t be confused with limitless choices,” says one commenter, who believes that as a junior, she “should be surrounded by people having problems making rent or people having to work two jobs or juggle children – she should be in the perfect space to be aware of her great luck.”
Spoilt Brat
“I got nothing but a place to stay rent-free during the summer between classes, and I was grateful for that. This girl is a spoiled, entitled brat,” argues another user who believes the dad is not wrong for standing his ground.
Stick to Your Principals!
Another commenter says, “I think it’s important on principal to stick to what you told her upfront, and the same as you did for your other kids. Imagine how your first two children would feel if they found out you footed an extra $40k+ just because she was uncertain what she wanted to do. She is definitely acting entitled as coming out debt-free is an amazing feat today.”
Was The Pandemic to Blame?
One commenter sympathized with Bella and asked if there was more to it, given recent events. “Was Bella the only one of OP’s three children to attend college during Covid? How much of a disruption was this for her and her education? If she’s scheduled to graduate in 2024 then her freshman year was not a traditional/typical year, nor was her senior spring,” they argue.
Exploring Her Passion?
Another user is doubtful that she is now choosing to explore her passion, when this is the third time changing her major, stating, “you set a reasonable expectation, and if she wants to explore her passion, she can fund part of it herself.”
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